The Continuing Saga of Florida Man (bonus)

[Intro]
[Instrumental]

[Verse 1]
Down in the land of swamp and sun
Where the gators roam and the weirdos run
He’s a legend born of chaos and nerve
Florida man’s the weirdo we deserve

[Verse 2]
Woke up this morning with a gator in my pool
Swear on my life I ain't no fool
Florida sun shining hot and bright
But the headlines keep me up at night

[Chorus]
Oh, Florida Man, what you done today?
Stole a golf cart, drove it down the freeway
Dancin' naked in the middle of town
With a mullet and a grin, he don't back down
Florida man with a beer in his hand
Wrestling gators like he owns the land
He ain’t the hero we need, but he’s got the verve
Florida man’s the weirdo we deserve

[Interlude]
[Instrumental]

YEEEAH!

[Verse 3]
Neighbor's got a python stuck in his drain
Meanwhile, I'm dodging hurricanes
A guy in the Walmart wearing just a thong
Florida Man keeps rolling strong

[Verse 4]
He stole a cop car to go grab some weed
Then crashed it into a big ol' palm tree
He makes the headlines like a twisted curve
Florida man’s the weirdo we deserve

[Chorus]
Oh, Florida Man, what you done today?
Lit a firework in a Waffle House display
Rode your lawnmower to the county fair
Made yourself a wig outta coconut hair
Florida man with a beer in his hand
Wrestling gators like he owns the land
He ain’t the hero we need, but he’s got the verve
Florida man’s the weirdo we deserve

[Interlude]
[Instrumental]

[Spoken] Look out, world! Here comes Florida Man!

[Verse 5]
He tried to rob a bank with a water gun
Wore a chicken suit to work, just for fun
He’s the punchline we’ll always preserve
Florida man’s the weirdo we deserve

[Bridge]
They say the swamp’s got magic in its veins
It’ll make you wild, it'll drive you insane
From the panhandle down to the Keys
Florida Man lives like he's born to be free

[Chorus]
Oh, Florida Man, what you done today?
Chased a chicken through the Everglades
Pulled a sword out at a Taco Bell
Florida Man’s life is a story to tell
Florida man with a beer in his hand
Wrestling gators like he owns the land
He ain’t the hero we need, but he’s got the verve
Florida man’s the weirdo we deserve

[Spoken] Look, up in the sky!
[Spoken] It's a pelican! It's a helicopter?
[Spoken] nah, that's just Florida Man on a rocket-powered lawn chair.
[Spoken] yep ... better call the cops ..

[interlude: very short]

[Ending]