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Notes
No modern Christian album is complete without a song for the artist's spouse, and I guess this is no exception.
This one is for my wife, Amy, who is the love of my life. My only regret is that it took so long, and so many mistakes on my part in the meantime, to find her. When she came into my life, I had been a year out of a messy divorce, in my mid-30s, and without much hope of anything getting better. I was angry with God to the point that I very nearly walked away from my faith altogether. As the song says, the one thing I'd asked for and desperately needed seemed to be the one thing God refused to grant - a loving and fulfilling marriage. And so I disconnected, stopped looking for that, and started looking for, basically, a fling or two. Thankfully, that's not what I found.
Then, at what was surely the lowest point of my life, I met her - a beautiful Christian woman with a kind heart, a rockin' body (yeah, I said it), and a gorgeous voice. The connection was pretty much instant, but it took me some time to realize exactly what had happened: that God had FINALLY given me what I had always wanted, and at a time when I had all but abandoned Him. It was a very humbling realization - it was grace completely undeserved.
And now, I feel like I finally understand. That's EXACTLY what grace IS. God shows us His kindness when we really don't deserve it. In doing so, He brought me back from the brink of apostasy. I'd like to say I'll never doubt Him again, but I am human, so I know that's not entirely true. But, I can say that I will never let things get that bad again, and I will always try to be grateful. How could I not? Not only did He save my soul, He also gave me her.
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
For most of my life, the one thing I wanted
Was to fall in love, and be loved in return
God gave me everything I'd ever asked,
But that one thing was one thing that I couldn't have
I went my own way and made my own choices
But still couldn't force what was not meant to be
Months turned to years, and years turned to decades
And still, I was standing there, still all alone
[Chorus]
Now I'm standing here singing this idiot's love song
Trying to say things that won't become words
God only knows the depth of my love for you
But I still have to try somehow
[Verse 2]
You came to my life when I had next to nothing,
Broken, defeated, and surrendered to fate
When I needed you most, I deserved you the least
But you were the one who loved me the same
[Chorus 1]
Now I'm standing here singing this idiot's love song
Trying to say things that won't become words
God only knows the depth of my love for you
But I still have to try somehow
[Verse 3]
But time marches on, and the kids are all grown,
But the house is not empty, 'cause it's still you and me
We're growing old together, but I still haven't told you
All that I should have, and I feel like a fool
[Chorus 2]
So I'm sitting here singing this idiot's love song,
Wishing we had just a little more time
God gave us a lifetime, but it's just not enough time
To love you as much as you deserve
[Bridge]
If I had the chance to live this life again,
I'd find you much sooner the next time around.
And God only knows the depth of my love for you
But I still have to try somehow
[Chorus 2]
So I'm sitting here singing this idiot's love song,
Wishing we had just a little more time
God gave us a lifetime, but it's just not enough time
To love you as much as you deserve
[Chorus 1]
Now I'm standing here singing this idiot's love song
Trying to say things that won't become words
God only knows the depth of my love for you
But I still have to try somehow